How To Make Catholicism’s Best Argument Against Homosexuality

I got a rush every time I turned in one of my Philosophy papers in college. As a vocal Catholic acquiring a philosophy degree at a secular state school, I brashly weaved Catholic philosophy into all of my papers. But I had a steep learning curve to write papers that actually got As. I had to learn that a good paper didn’t just dismiss a philosophy I didn’t like as irrational and then propose the Catholic alternative. Good papers took the argument I disagreed with as something worth understanding because the better I understood the argument, the better the solution I could provide.  

When talking about homosexuality, Catholics fall into the trap I did in college. They argue homosexuality is illogical, so it must be wrong. This reality was exemplified in the recent website on sexuality, gender, and marriage from the United States Council of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) entitled Love Means More. It perpetuates attitudes and approaches that further the divide between Catholics and the LGBT community by using an oversimplification of what motivates queer individuals to prove why Catholicism is right. Catholics are so concerned with being right that they’ve forgotten that the teachings against same-sex relationships aren’t about winning arguments but creating a place where people can experience the love they’re looking for.

I don’t think the USCCB’s website would make it in one of my philosophy classes. Correct theology doesn’t excuse bad arguments. A central point of feedback I’d provide is that they repeatedly use straw man arguments for the “other” side. They overwhelmingly claim that people justify homosexual relationships based on feelings—it feels good, so it must be good. It’s a caricature and an unhelpful starting point for this discussion because it fails to capture this topic’s intensely personal and emotional components. People wouldn’t argue about homosexuality with the level of vitriol that they do if it were just a debate around the authority of feelings for defining a relationship. Instead, this is a discussion around core questions of love and belonging.  If we start here instead, let’s see how this changes things.

A same-sex sexual relationship is a solution to the universal experience of Original Solitude first personified in Genesis. A same-sex couple is comprised of two individuals pursuing ultimate goods, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Specifically, the pursuit of love, connection, and belonging. The problem is that it is done outside God’s law. Catholicism cannot approve of a same-sex relationship not because it pursues good things but because the means cannot fully realize those ends. The Catholic response to homosexuality is not fundamentally a call to chastity or ascribing to a moral code; it is an invitation to love through means that will truly allow people to experience what they seek.

Catholicism’s teachings state that The Church has the solution to the same-sex attracted person’s need for connection: a family in the people of God and identity in the person of Jesus. Yet the people of God spend more time accusing gay people of living by their feelings than creating a culture where those same people could experience the love, connection, and belonging we’re searching for. To actually do this, Catholics need to stop arguing, keep praying, and start acting.

Catholicism could defer to experts in psychology when talking about people’s experience of sexuality, acknowledging that same-sex attractions exist on a spectrum. It could universally condemn all efforts of conversion therapy for minors and adults, affirming that they are harmful. The Church could work as a force to condemn unjust discrimination to protect the dignity of each person.

It could normalize the existence of people within The Church who experience same-sex attractions so that people might know that stories like theirs have a home in Catholicism. Catholics could provide more resources for individuals who want to disclose their experience of sexuality with those close to them as a means of finding more support within the Church. Catholicism could educate her people on how to respond when someone comes out to them, address the concerns that come up in their hearts, and grieve what needs to be grieved in their lives. Ultimately, Catholics could create communities where queer people might truly experience family and belonging and come home.

Catholic Church, you are already doing these things, but I’m asking you to do more. Don’t tell me I’m wrong; show me a Church where I could believe you’re right.